Nick was not the imposter
One thing that my wife and I love to do together is camping. And this weekend we managed to get away to a nearby campground for a night. We camp comfortably and use that time to relax and recharge. Inevitably, the evening leads to sitting by the campfire and talking about life, the universe, and everything. This time we spoke about school and our motivations. I talked about one of my strongest motivators being a former class mate of mine.
When I went to art college the first time in 1999, I had a class mate that stood out amongst all the weird, unique, and talented artists at my college. She was a woman named Rosemary and was in her mid 60’s. There was a 40 years age gap to the next oldest student in my year. But she was an inspiration to me. She made the 1 hour drive to and from campus each day. Never missed a class. Painting about Bob Denver songs whenever she could. And stuck it out for all 4 years to graduate with honors. I recall talking to her one class about why she was doing it. She was already retired and not looking for a new career. She told me that she already liked to draw and paint. But she wanted to hone her skills at it to make the rest of her retirement more meaningful. Plus if she made extra money at the same time, so be it. I was in my early 20’s then and I still find myself being inspired by her drive and dedication almost 18 years after be both received our degrees.
Despite her inspiration, feeling like an imposter at times in inevitable. I am both adventuring down a completely new path and trying to fast track the start. So at this stage it only makes sense to question my decision and wonder what I’m doing here. But I try to bury my head into my studies any time I feel those thoughts and feelings creep through. If my studies and work dominate my thoughts, I know I’m not an imposter. An imposter would avoid the work at hand. But I can’t use pure force on my own thoughts. It takes some pep talking and hand holding too. I have to quiz myself as I go to make sure I retain what I learn and not just memorize. Retention and application is the hardest part of learning something new. But it’s also the most beneficial.
The most challenging part of my course with Austin Coding Academy has been my time management. Although I make sure I get everything done on time. I have a habit of spending not spending enough time working at the start of a project. But then trying to rush at the end to get everything done. It’s been my Achilles’ heel most of my life. I’m trying to find the balance these days. I know the projects I will create though this course will take a lot of my time. And that I’ll have to work on several projects at once sometimes. So making sure to put in the time and focus needed for every project is the highest importance right now.
One of my favorite podcasts that I frequent is “Stuff you should know”. I’ve listened to Chuck and Josh on a regular basis for the last few years. They present interesting and sometimes obscure facts in a fun and educational way. The things they talk about are sometimes nearly useless things to know. But I have always considered myself to be a fountain of useless information as well. For some reason, I can recall many facts about how “War Tubas” were used at the beginning of WWII. Or even the sadly hilarious effects that narcolepsy had on a dachshund named “Rusty” in the 90’s. So letting Chuck and Josh add to my collection of useless information is always a welcome escape. Training fleas for a flea circus, check! How soap works on a molecular level wash away dirt and bacteria, double check!
My spare time has changed wildly over the last year. And for many reasons. A year ago I was working full time selling screen printing supplies. And it was a solid 9 to 5 job with a rare need for overtime. But at the same time, my wife and I were saving up for a house. And we were going at it hard. We both decided to start doing food deliveries with Postmates, Uber Eats, and Favor. And with each service, my wife would sign up and start making deliveries and work towards a delivery bonus for completing a certain number under a certain timeframe. But then she would refer me and I would start working towards the same bonus, but that goal would also come with a referral bonus for her when I completed mine. Between the both of us doing that most evenings for 5 months, we saved up enough for our down payment and then some. Six months ago, my spare time was a different story. I had nothing but spare time due to the pandemic and losing my job. But I was also depressed about the whole situation and didn’t do much with myself for a while. Mostly video games and some disc golf at the few course that were still open. But I knew I couldn’t stay that way and a few months ago I looked into doing something different. That’s what brought me to coding. I started playing around with it for fun and quickly found myself spending 4 or 5 hours a day trying to teach myself to do it better. Now my free time is a thing of the past. But in a good way. I dove in head first and but the majority of my waking hours towards learning as much as I can. I even find myself dreaming of web development at times. I still don’t know my I needed an h3 element to disarm that bomb the other night. But I saved the world.
